One of the sayings I’ve heard and actually begun to have a disdain for is, “do it scared.” While this is a valid and real thing to say to people, what does it mean to do it scared? The thing about fear is that it not only lives in our minds but also in our bodies; fear, whether real or perceived, physical or emotional, sets our nervous system ablaze, forcing it to make decisions for us. This is where we get the fight, flight, or freeze responses from. But maybe fear could also trigger flow. I think it does.
According to Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (pronounced Me-hi Chick-sent-me-hi for anyone who is curious), the author of Flow, it requires you to do something just a little bit outside of your reach. Something that you have to give effort to in order to make it actually happen. A lot of times, we experience fear for that reason – something feels beyond reach or capacity -, but maybe the fear should be the catalyst for the flow that we have. We can lean into solving the problem to getting in and making it happen.
- Fight
- Flight
- Freeze
- Fawn
- Flow(?)
Maybe this can be our reaction to fear instead.
Remember that you are not helpless in the moment – imagined fear, though it may feel real, is not.
You have to allow yourself to say yes to the mess and seek progress, not perfection.
You can’t react properly to what you aren’t aware of. If you’re just allowing your feelings to overtake you, saying “this is just who/how I am” then you’re not ready for this practice. There’s a difference between who you are as a person and who you are based on conditions and conditioning experienced, as well as the lack of tools and awareness.
What fear has stopped in my life: Getting clients, doing the work that clients have asked of me, working with mentors that I love and would want to be like. Most importantly itprevented me from taking risks.
What flow has created: many opportunities to create amazing projects with great people and for myself. A chance to see myself as free and creative beyond thought and into execution.
- Fear – allow yourself to actually recognize that this feeling is coming over you and really lean into the idea that there is something scary happening. Fear is always trying to tell you something but oftentimes we don’t listen but instead turn and run the other way.
- Feel – emotions are a tunnel, not a cave. They are taking you to some truth that you may need to learn or address. You can’t get to this truth if you don’t allow yourself to engage the feeling and ask it what it wants to tell you.
- Reframe – now that you know what the fear is trying to warn you of, contextualize it into something actionable. Oh no! I don’t know enough or oh no, they are going to make fun of me or whatever. Decide on your necessary next step.
- Flow – Get into it. Make your lists, get comfortable and set the mood to work and go for it. Know that this thing that you are going after is attainable and will make you better. Give yourself the time and space to really get into the genius zone and let the magic come from you. No edits, no self-criticism, just let it happen. You may like what comes out and if you don’t, you took a crucial first step that you can now edit to your liking. I’m so proud of you!
