There are many things that tell us to be something that has nothing to do with who we truly are. From a young age, we’re taught to conform, but not how to use our individuality to contribute to a larger vision, be an asset to others, and be dreamers.
Let’s face it, those who succeed are often the ones who are honest about their visions and crazy ideas, keeping them at the forefront, even if it means being called crazy until one day, those ideas become reality. It takes a great deal of courage to live like that, a kind of courage that many of us were not taught.
We often lie. All the time, especially as professionals. Now, does this mean we need to be boisterous and stir the pot for absolutely no reason? No, I’m not saying that. But what I am saying is that to find some level of fulfillment in the work you’re doing, there has to be a personal connection or reason behind your work. Sometimes, it’s in the work itself, and sometimes it’s in what you use the money for. However, if you’re working only for money, you’re often being dishonest, constantly.
Being a professional liar can manifest in several ways:
- Being inconsistent and unreliable
- Being a chameleon
- Experiencing depression and anxiety
- Feeling fear about deciding what you really want vs. only being able to say what you need
- Desperation and keeping up with the Joneses, using a business model that looks like others or offers solutions you don’t want to or aren’t fit to provide
- Not meeting clients, jobs, and partners who truly inspire and ignite your passion
- A lack of excitement and hope in the work you do
Why do we lie? All of these things seem contrary to the life we want to live. Well, I don’t think many people are consciously doing it. While the list above was largely negative, there is an understood acceptability and potential for an external life well-lived or even a life of opulence when you submit to the lie. There’s so much messaging around us telling us what is acceptable and what people want from us, making it easy to find ourselves moving in that direction without asking the right questions to live with intention. We accept the stop signs that people hand us, allowing them to define our desires and personality, and we find ourselves in situations that we feel call for this unsatisfied version of ourselves, again, for the sake of safety in one way or another, maybe because there is a need that has to be met. Regardless of the reason, it’s possible to start moving in a different direction and become who you are meant to be.
You have to allow yourself to become an Uninterrupted Masterpiece – a person who shows up as themselves and works to put down the stop signs that other people have handed you, allowing you to show up and dream free of the need to impress or pretend for the sake of safety. You should feel internally secure. The world around you shouldn’t impact the way you see yourself or the work you aspire to do. You’re working on showing up and discovering what you are meant for, and you’re secure enough in the journey to make mistakes, learn more, re-evaluate, and change stances as necessary. You’re free to flourish.
I’d like to emphasize that this transformation is not an overnight thing. It has taken me three conscious years of work to get here, and before that, I was in therapy for four years and working on my spiritual foundation. So here’s what I think it takes to stop being a Professional Liar and start being an Uninterrupted Masterpiece:
- Self-care – as the foundation for everything else, having and maintaining a plan for your Energy, Esteem, and Experience.
- Therapy – I single this out because it’s important to delve into your own mind and past experiences.
- Define Yourself – when the vision is clear, it’s easier to work toward it. My husband always tells me to define my world and asks what I want. I’ll be honest; it was very hard to even say what that was because so much of my life was dedicated to survival and showing up as the best version of what would be impressive to someone else. I’m just now beginning to learn how to dream in real freedom.
- Grit, Grace & Gratitude – hold on but allow yourself and others to see the realities of your journey, pains, and progress and be grateful along the way that you are putting in the work and that the other side is coming.
- Commit and re-commit – start, and if there are road bumps, keep going. Consistency is often the thing that stands between us and our goals. While the idea of this seems like a strong and straight line of effort, as we’re working on progress, it really looks like a jagged bar graph indicating strong starts, slow downs, and sometimes hard pauses. The point is to never stop.
- Celebrate yourself – focus on your accomplishments, not your setbacks.
This is a simple list, but the time and dedication it takes to become this version of yourself involves a series of transformative activities that are not always easy. The declaration is easy, but the maintenance when everything around you is telling you otherwise is hard. If this is your choice, stay the course, make sure to surround yourself with people who have been or are on the same journey, and keep going. It’s worth it in the end
